Apple!

This is not meant to be mean and I do not mean anything by it, but mommy read it to us the other day and we thought it was funny.
So if God has not blessed you with a Apple do not be offended by this and just laugh at it to.

There have been times when certain individuals have made fun of me and my love for Apple products. In my interactions with this individual, who happens to be pastor I work with, I have chosen not to retaliate. Why? Because I know one, simple, profound truth: Apple products actually make you a better Christian.

Is this really possible, you ask? Yes it is. It’s more than possible, it’s true. Here’s just a few reasons why:

Apple Products Don’t Tempt You to Anger and Despair

You’ve been working on an important presentation for the last hour, furiously typing away on your PC. Suddenly, without any provocation from you, a mysterious error message appears on the screen. Due to you pressing the enter key too many times, your computer must now shutdown and erase all the work you’ve done over the last hour. You want to scream. Then you do. You momentarily contemplate hurling your laptop out the window. You’re angry at the world, then at your computer, then at Bill Gates. Then you sink into a pit of despair as you realize that you must recreate what you just lost.

Apple helps you flee from temptation.

Apple Products Are An Evangelism Tool

You’re sitting in a coffee shop, sipping on a latte, when you see a hip looking guy a few tables over reading a Bible and writing in a Moleskine journal. You can tell that he’s puzzled, and you ask him if he understands what he’s reading. “No I don’t,” he says. “Can you help me?” You grab your backpack and sit down at his table. He tells you that he’s reading in John 1, and you say that you’ll pull it up on your Bible software. You pull out your Dell laptop and place it on the table in front of you. The hip guy looks at you, then looks at your computer, then says, “You know what, I think I’ll just keep reading myself. Thanks.”

Apple helps you be missional.

Apple Products Reflect God’s Creativity

Take a moment and look at that HP laptop sitting on your desk. What words come to mind? Behemoth? Clunky? The size of battleship? A clear result of God’s curse upon humanity? Uglier than a wookie? Now look at your iPod. Sleek. Beautiful. Possibly unaffected by the fall.

Apple helps you see God’s creativity.

Apple Products Give You More Time For Prayer

How do Christian PC users spend approximately two-thirds of their days? Booting and rebooting their computers. They would pray but their prayer list was on their computer, which just locked up. And caught fire. Time to reboot.

Apple furthers your devotional life.

Apple Products Are Biblical

Let me connect the dots for you. How did Eve sin? She ate fruit. What is Apple’s logo? An apple with a bite out of it. Coincidence? I think not. Clearly, Apple is seeking to do some culture making and restore what was lost in the fall. They are redeeming the apple.

Are you seeing my point? If you want to grow, go get an Apple product.

Do any PC users care to defend themselves? Do any Apple users want to add to the list?

Well bye,
®achel

P.S.
You can laugh because it is all a joke.
And I did not write it (if you could not tell).